Fitness Corner: Give yourself credit for taking care of yourself

“You’re beautiful. How do you do it?”

There I was, in a bikini on a snorkeling tour boat, having just removed my top and skirt to jump in the water. The two teenage girls sitting behind us were literally staring at me.

Are my almost mid-50s-year-old ears deceiving me? Did they just say that?

I’m not the person who walks around thinking I’m a hottie, as you probably can tell if you’re a regular reader of this column. But when teenage girls are openly admiring and complimenting you, well, even I am forced to give myself some credit!

We had been chatting on the tour bus, and they were very personable young people, easy to talk to. I am comfortable around teens — it’s all those years working alongside the late great Coach Dan Potts training young athletes. “You just gotta talk to them,” Dan told me more than once. He was right, of course, as he often was.

As a woman, I’m now at that age when you become very aware that the world sees you as older. In medical offices I get the “you’re doing well for your age” comment a lot. I am doing well, but I also wouldn’t be hearing those comments if I weren’t older. I don’t do much to try to look more youthful (not that there’s anything wrong with that) but to me it all seems like more effort than it’s worth.

So, being told “you’re beautiful” by the toughest demographic in the world to impress was astonishing. What could they be seeing? Not my face, because they had been looking at that all day already and never said a word. Plus, I was wearing a hat and sunglasses. Plus, there I was in a bikini. Therefore . . . it must be my body?

This body, the only one I’ve got. The body I live in all day every day. The body I also have been frustrated with or criticized or took for granted, often, as much as I’ve tried not to. My overall healthy, imperfect, active, dependable, undeniably aging body.

I was extremely flattered, of course! But what really got me thinking was their question: “How do you do it?”

On the spot like I was (I sputtered out a very sincere thank you), I couldn’t really say anything about it. Most likely they didn’t want to get into a discussion anyway when we were there to snorkel. Maybe they just said that in passing.

But I’ve thought about it a lot since then.

It’s true that I’ve been dedicated to eating healthy and working out in my adult life, but I’ve been far from consistent and often way too hard on myself. Some of my choices were because that’s what I learned growing up, some because I prioritized some things that were important to me, and some by genetics and good fortune.

My big secret is that I’ve done my best, and nothing more.

But since they asked, here’s what I would say:

Care for yourself. Make healthy choices to fuel your body but don’t deprive yourself of joyful eating. Prioritize movement in any form, just keep moving. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Always laugh, even when there isn’t much to laugh about. Practice resilience. Never stop learning. Don’t worry about how much you weigh; worry about how much weight you lift in the gym. Let people who care about you support you when necessary. Give back to your community. Stand by your principles.

And when something isn’t working for you, make the necessary choice to support your best self. The increased confidence I feel, my renewed focus on working out, and generally much more positive outlook that I’ve gained since I stopped drinking alcohol almost a year ago are what enabled me to feel good about showing up in public in that bikini!

Finally, don’t worry about what anyone else thinks of you, unless some teenage girls tell you you’re beautiful when you least expect it and then, be sure to be very impressed with yourself.

Hey, I’m a woman of a certain age! And doing a good job of it, apparently.

That’s how I do it.

There are no guarantees that you’ll wow any teenagers later in life if you take me up on my recommendations. But you may just wow yourself.

Which is really what’s most important.

Coach Pritam Potts is a writer and strength coach. After many years of training athletes and clients of all ages as co-owner of Edmonds-based Advanced Athlete LLC, she now lives in Dallas, Texas. She writes about health & wellbeing, grief & loss, love & life at infinitecapability.substack.com and www.advancedathlete.com.